Encouraging Good Character
Encouraging good character in children is about helping them understand that their choices, words, and actions affect themselves and others. The most effective approach is to make character something they see, practice, and celebrate every day. I mean after all, they say, “Nobody said it would be easy, but worth it, “YES!” Something to remember is the fact that everything you pour into your children today, will shine down the road. I remember as a young mom, I was home with our three children, I took children in to watch as their family worked, but for me, it was important to be with our children. It was good for them to have other kids around as well. But, the truth is, it was exhausting! All day you are teaching, listening, guiding, providing, nurturing, etc. children hoping that the things you say and do are making an impact on them, a good impact, meaning YOU are making the best choice and leading by example. There were days of exhaustion, there were days of pure joy, everyday is different. But worth the time!
I can still remember one day my husband coming home from work and I was kind of crabby, and as we talked I shared with him my feelings. I had no idea if what I was doing was good enough for our kids. I had no idea if the things I did or even said was good enough for our kids. I had no idea what the outcome was going to be raising our kids! To put it into perspective, I shared that every day you go to work, and you work hard as a carpenter. At the end of the day you can stand back and visually see and feel your accomplishments! Me, I have no idea what the results are going to be. Therefore, I just did the best I could day in and day out, the hardest job I’ve ever had for sure. And, the outcome, well we have three amazing adult kids and I’d say that every second of blood, sweat and tears poured into them was beyond worth it!
During our years, I worked in a retail store, a grocery store and then the school system. The hardest and most rewarding position ever held, was MOM. I would not have changed anything for my choices. It was way easier going to work than raising kids! But, my choice was to be a stay at home mom, I wanted to see their first steps, their first fall, comfort them when they were sick, introduce new foods, people and places and do all things one does when raising children. Today, I’ve learned so much and taken many of life experiences and challenges and poured them into the organization, Characters of Character and I enjoy helping, sharing and encouraging others to teach their children these traits. I’m far from being an expert, but, I do have experience and I have seen things. :) It’s not complicated, it just takes time and persistence.
These are some helpful ways to encourage good character:
It’s helpful to lead by example
Children learn by watching adults. Demonstrate kindness, honesty, respect, patience, and responsibility in everyday situations. Trust me! You may think your children are not listening to you or watching what you do, especially after repeating the task over and over again, you may feel like you’re talking to a wall, but, YOU ARE NOT! They hear you and they see you and therefore by you making the best choice, you are doing the right thing and you are then leading by example.It’s helpful to teach one character trait at a time
Kids don’t come with an automatic button to know this, we need to teach them these vital core values, simply keep lessons simple and age appropriate. Discuss them, talk about them, model them, read about them, and even find activities to implement them. We have nine traits. I wouldn’t overwhelm your child with all of them at once, perhaps choose one you’re struggling with at first, but, keep in mind to surely implement others as well. Some days are not just all about one trait and the more you know, the more you know.It’s helpful to explain what good character looks like
Instead of simply saying, “Be respectful,” give children examples: listen when someone is speaking, use kind words, take turns, and treat others fairly. Or, don’t just say, “BEHAVE” after all, what does it mean to behave. Again, examples, books, activities, etc will help a child to understand more clearly.It’s helpful to give children opportunities to practice
Let them help someone, solve a problem, take responsibility for a task, or encourage a friend. This allows them to learn and grow and better understand!It’s helpful to praise their character, not just achievement
Say, “I noticed how kind you were to your friend,” or “You kept trying even when it was difficult.” This reinforces the behavior you want to see. This is ENCOURAGEMENT!! Be present and take notice, even if they are small achievements, it all matters and they all build up to the big one, A BALANCE of good character!It’s helpful to use stories and characters
Children often connect with characters who model positive traits. A character such as Behavior Bear can make the idea of good behavior fun and memorable and most likely your child will want to be just like the character you’re teaching or reinforcing, ENCOURAGE them!It’s helpful to talk about choices and consequences
I did this often as a preschool teacher and young mom, when you show the other side of things a child will think differently about their choices. Help children think about how their choices affect other people. Ask, “How do you think that made your friend feel?”It’s helpful to encourage children to make things right
Everyone makes mistakes. Teach children to apologize, take responsibility, and try to correct their actions. This isn’t always easy because as you yourself may know, it’s easier to take the easy way, is it the right choice though? Again, when a child has internalized these traits they will have habits of walking in them and should be very proud of this, and you should be proud of them.It’s helpful to celebrate small acts of character
Recognize everyday moments, sharing, helping, telling the truth, showing patience, including someone, and even not giving up. Recognize and encourage them all, little, big or small, celebrate them all! I can remember and this is a true story, I sent a Certificate of Accomplishment to Desmond Clark who I had met years ago and he forgot how it felt to receive one, and was very appreciative of it. Even as an adult, we sometimes forget what it looks like, sounds like or feels like to be celebrated. Many times it’s the little celebration that carries us through. The small acts of kindness, a word of encouragement or recognition.It’s helpful to make character part of everyday life
Character education works best when it isn't just a lesson. Look for opportunities at home, school, after-school programs, and in the community to practice good character.
“Good character is doing the right thing, treating others with kindness and respect, and making good choices—even when no one is watching.”
For Characters of Character, these everyday opportunities can help children build the firm foundation of strong civic values that will guide them as they grow.
Making a Difference in the life of a child, one child at a time.
Miss Joni and Team Characters
TELL me and I forget. TEACH me and I remember, INVOLVE me and I learn. Benjamin Franklin and Miss Joni’s favorite quote!